


No More

by thegreatficmaster



Series: Supernatural Collection [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Reader-Insert, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 12:53:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19830634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatficmaster/pseuds/thegreatficmaster
Summary: Y/n can no longer be around the Winchesters.





	No More

Y/n had left the bunker a few hours ago and walked into the small forest surrounding it. 

It helped slightly, nature, the peace and quiet it gave.

He lay in a small clearing, staring at the sun, the beauty it showed, despite the fiery destruction it could easily cause. 

The warm beams of sunlight shining down upon him, nothing around but the trees swaying in the wind.

He wished he could stay here forever and not have to deal with anything else. 

But that wasn’t life. 

Life was difficult. 

Life was full of death, pain, hurt and anger. 

Betrayal, loss and love. 

But for y/n, life was full of sadness. 

Sadness and loneliness. 

A dark abyss in his heart. 

He knew he wouldn’t be able to escape the prison he built for himself. 

Not even the sun would fill the black vacuum with light.

He’d hidden his emotional state from the brothers, not wanting them to see his breakdown. 

If you looked closely, you could see the cracks in the man, the hopelessness within his eyes. 

The way he dragged himself through every day. 

The way he was careless on hunts, making sure everyone was safe except himself.

But no one would end it.

Demons knew of his wishes. 

The way he wasn’t afraid of death like most. 

Actually wishing it would arrive sooner. 

So they left him to live, knowing this would be worse for the hunter, than any other physical torture or injury they could implement on him.

He didn’t care anymore. 

He wanted this to be done with. 

He wanted to leave the prison people called life. 

He wanted to escape the burden of hunting, the crippling responsibility that came with making sure the world wouldn’t end.

Being with the Winchesters made this much harder, starting a new devastating event, over and over, releasing monster after monster. 

He hadn’t been able to leave them though. 

He needed them. 

If only they needed him.

It was always the Winchesters and Castiel. 

Y/n was the follower. 

The one who tagged along. 

The one who had their backs, while he was left to defend himself.

No one needed him. 

Well that’s what he thought anyway.

The Winchesters loved him. 

Sam loved him like a brother. 

The tall hunter was able to share all his problems, all his worries and fears. 

Dean? 

Well, Dean had a different kind of love for him. 

A love he had never felt before. 

Not even Cassie or Lisa made him feel this way. 

Y/n made his life better. 

A single glance of the man and Dean would feel better about everything, finding the energy to get through the day. 

But y/n didn’t know this. 

Dean didn’t want to admit this to him, scared something would happen to the hunter. 

So y/n was left thinking he was just burdening them.

He wondered what would happen after his death. 

No one would miss him. 

No one would cry for him. 

He would leave and be forgotten. 

Maybe he would find his way into heaven. 

Maybe, just maybe, he could finally have some sort of happiness. 

But he wouldn’t end it himself.

As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t just leave. 

So he let himself fall and fall, not talking to anyone, shutting everyone out and pulling further and further into himself. 

Allowing life take him wherever it decided. 

He would be along for the ride. 

If death wanted to take him early, he would gladly accept. 

If not, then he would muddle his way through his life, as he had been doing for the past 15 years.

Going back to the bunker, y/n entered, to see both brothers in the war room, with Lucifer, who was using Castiel’s vessel, along with Chuck, who was apparently God. 

‘ _Fucking Chuck. Useless shit wasn’t there all this time. Now he shows up and wants everyone to love him? Fuck that’._

Y/n sat on the stairs, listening to the plan to get rid of Amara. 

As the celestial being, the creator, and the Winchesters droned on and on, a feeling of complete despair and sorrow washed over him. 

He had to get out of here.

Walking discreetly to his room, making sure the others wouldn’t see him, not that they would notice, he thought, the broken man locked the door. 

Sitting on the bed he cried, thoughts of destruction filling his head. 

They wouldn’t be able to stop this. 

The Darkness. 

She was too powerful. 

She couldn’t be defeated. 

Not even by God and the devil himself.

Dean definitely wouldn’t be able to do anything, too entranced by her, as he was by every other woman. 

_‘Weak, horny moron’_. 

He always did this. 

A baby with an Amazon. 

Leaving with Lisa purely based on the fact that she was a good fuck once in his life, abandoning y/n who needed him the most. 

Now it was time to fall in love with the sister of God, the soul eating, world destroying bitch.

Y/n realized he couldn’t do this anymore. 

He couldn’t be around the brothers. 

They would do anything and everything to save each other, making deals, dragging souls out of hell, releasing the worst evil upon the world. 

He could no longer follow in the destructive trail the brothers left behind them. 

They would destroy the world for each other. But y/n knew they would never do anything for him. 

They always left him behind. 

He would no longer accept all the shit they did and help them fix it. 

They started the mess, they could clean it up.

Getting off his bed, he walked out of his bedroom and made his way through the bunker. 

Entering the war room once more, he saw all four men still in discussion about how to defeat Amara. 

They hadn’t even noticed he’d gone. 

Why would they?

Once he made his way out of the bunker, he drove. 

He drove nowhere in particular, just far away from the brothers. 

Far away from Lucifer. 

Far away from Chuck. 

The ones who had caused the most destruction in a single decade, more than there had ever been in all of history.

Eventually, he stopped in the middle of nowhere. 

A long stretch of road and nothing else in sight. 

Reaching for his phone, he called Crowley.

 _“How can I help you, y/n?”_ the King of Hell asked. 

_“I need you to send me to Amara”_ , y/n replied. 

_“What are you, nuts? You might be one of the few people I don’t completely despise. But I’m not risking my life”,_ the demon exclaimed through the phone. 

A second later, he appeared in front of y/n.

“What the bloody hell is going on? Why are you going to Amara?” he asked, worried about what his one actual friend in the world was going to do.

“I’m sorry, Crowley. I can’t do this anymore. I need to go. Not to heaven or hell. I need to be nowhere”. 

Crowley stood, shocked at what he was hearing. 

Y/n was one of the strongest people he knew. 

He was brave and fearless. 

He protected those he loved, including the King himself. 

Hearing him say this was something Crowley never expected. 

But at the same time, he knew the feeling. 

The feeling of wanting to leave. Not wanting anything around. 

To be completely alone and rid of all the chains life binds to you.

He decided he’d help.

Y/n was smart. 

He’d find a way there somehow. 

But Crowley would make his journey easier. 

“Fine”. 

The demon gave his help, figuring it would be better he do this than some other demon, who would most likely kill the hunter, taking his one wish away.

Before Crowley could send him to Amara, y/n spoke. 

“Crowley. I just wanted to say, I know you’re a demon and you’ve tried to kill us so many times. But, I appreciate everything, you know? I honestly thought of you as a friend, and I’m glad I got to know you”, y/n said.

Crowley nodded, not saying anything. 

He didn’t have to. 

Y/n knew their friendship was real. 

Crowley snapped his fingers, and in the blink of an eye, y/n was gone.

As he stood in front of the woman capable of so much destruction, he couldn’t help think about everything he had been through. 

His parents’ death.

Meeting the Winchesters.

Demons and angels. 

Lucifer. 

Leviathans. 

Eve. 

Dragons. 

Abaddon. 

Cain. 

The Mark. 

And now the Darkness. 

Being with the Winchesters would surely destroy y/n completely. 

He couldn’t do this anymore. 

As the woman stared at him, wondering what the peculiar little human was doing in front of her, he finally released the words he had been wanting to say for so long.

“Help me”.

With that, darkness took him, nothingness now engulfing him, until he was no more. 


End file.
